the water got high and she never got dry

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

with no variations of aggravations

My head is just abuzz with a million things. Palm Springs was beautiful and I had a rockin' time, lounging by the pool, eating almost every meal al fresco, drinking a little too much (and having the worst hangover of my life the next morning), earning blisters, staying at a Motel 6 in a sketchy neighborhood, and enjoying being the only girl in a group of guys. But even though the scenery was gorgeous and the weather perfect, I was more than ready to come home to my boy and my own bed. No more motel room beds, snoring roommates, or tiny scratchy towels and no more missing the Boy.

So being home, good. Getting my iPod in the mail yesterday, good. Cellphone nonsense, not so good. Until yesterday I was still sharing an account with the ex-boy but we'd finally arranged to split it and I thought he'd taken care of everything (that was my 2nd mistake. The first mistake was having the account in his name.). I ended up not just setting up a new account with the same provider because it would be cheaper to switch over and share a plan with the Boy.

The first aggravation was not being able to keep my phone number. But even though I lamented having to get a new phone and new number, I thought, "no big deal." Standing there in the store with the Boy, I did have a little voice in the back of my head saying "You've just gotten disentangled from the last shared account and now you're jumping right back into a new one? Is this wise?" But it went away. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't have a deep-seated confidence in the relationship.

But then I get home and there's an email from the ex-boy and he's completely bungled everything and technically we still have an account together for 20 more days (even though my old phone stopped getting service last night) and there's a dispute over how much money I owe him and I just want to scream. We'd recently stopped talking but I still thought we could end on a civil note, I was going to email him to let him know I put a check in the mail yesterday and to thank him for helping me get the iPod in the first place.

Now I’m just pissed and sick and tired of being aggravated by him. The current snafu isn't that big a deal, it's just that it snowballs into all the past feelings of irritation at his inability to be a grownup.

With no more email contact, I thought I'd finally get some peace. But being irritated at him now keeps me engaged in the past and I have no desire to be. So I'm trying to just take deep breaths and let it go and stop mourning the fact that so many of the good memories are being eclipsed. The final link has finally been broken and who knows, maybe for whatever reason, we're not meant to part on good terms

So I'm awash in new gadgets. New iPod, new phone, and now I'm thinking of selling the digital camera I got for Christmas and getting a new one. My parents bought me an Olympus Stylus 600 but after having used it a few times, I've been pretty disappointed in the picture quality. The Boy has a Kodak Easy Share V530, which is super cute and he's pretty happy with it. But I can't help combing all the camera websites trying to figure out which one I should get. If anyone has a camera (compact or ultra compact, mid-range in price) they'd like to endorse, I'd love to hear it.

Less ranting next time.

But goodbye's too good a word, gal
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right
-bob dylan

2 Old Comments:

Your ex is a dick. I would look for the swiftest method of resolving things that you can both agree on and I'd forget about the whole civilities thing. If it's going to be civil, it will be, just maybe not now.

By Blogger NML, at 9:16 AM  

He's not really a dick, just not perfect - I think it's just the case that once you're no longer blinded by love, tolerance for those imperfections goes way down! But yea, you're right, I'm no longer going to worry about being the peacemaker and trying to maintain a friendship. Too much work for little benefit.

By Blogger felicity, at 6:08 PM