the water got high and she never got dry

Friday, May 04, 2007

are you saying there's a party in your pants?

Once upon a time there was a pair of red vinyl pants bought by a girl in college. They were a little on the outrageous side for her but she caved to friends’ persuasion and bought them. And they were hella fun and made this rollerskate skinny girl look like she actually had a booty. And she wore them clubbing, way back in the day when she actually did these sorts of things. And then she graduated and went to grad school and wore the pants just once her first year and enjoyed having her butt admired by Woody Allen-esque friend. And then stress, lack of exercise, an overly youthful and carefree diet, and a metabolism that came to a screeching halt all combined to make her unable to fit in her party pants. And she sadly put them away, resigning herself to never wearing them again but unable to throw them away.

Breaking from annoying third person, cut to my last year of grad school. My future in-laws buy me a gym membership and I splurge on a few personal training sessions and start going to the gym almost every day. It’s addictive, in a good way. Beforehand, if someone were to tell me they go to the gym almost every day, I’d think they need to get a life. But it’s such a great way to relieve stress and it just feels good, even when it kicks my ass. I’ve been feeling stronger and getting more toned.

I’m on my way to being obsessed with eating better - more fruit and veggies and whole wheat pasta and cutting way back on soda, watching my portion sizes and eating more frequently. Nothing draconian, I love food too much to ever diet. Just doing simple, reasonable things and enjoying everything in moderation and wondering why the hell it took me so long to pay attention to these things. I’ve never made it a goal to try and go back to my college size, because I thought that was unrealistic and unproductive, plus while I was thinner in college, I was not fit at all.

I do not have washboard abs yet and trying on bikinis at Target was dreadfully unfun. I’m convinced that the only women who really look great in bikinis are those with 0% body fat and that’s just not me. But I’m shaping up and slimming down and the other weekend I bought this cute green mini-dress and thought “Hey, there are my legs! They look pretty good!” And I went jeans shopping and kept grabbing sizes that were too big but wondering what the hell was wrong with the universe because I thought, I am not the size X I ended up with. It happened again when I went to the outlet mall and 95% of the things I tried on were way too big, I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Gradual weight loss (and gain for that matter, I’ve been down both roads) is a funny thing in that even as your body changes, your perception of it doesn’t keep up.

But the final test was trying on the party pants. I tried on a couple of other things from college first, just testing the waters. And I was still convinced that there was no way the party pants could fit but that that was okay.

I slipped them on this morning and they fit like a glove. Huzzah!

The irony, of course, is that they look a little silly and disco-y now. Where the hell would I wear these? Not really big into the clubbing thing now, as I am old and like to go to bed at a decent hour. Maybe I should wear them to proctor my last exam?

But dammit, if I wanted to wear them I could. And that feels really frakkin’ good.

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