the water got high and she never got dry

Sunday, July 15, 2007

enough for you to break down and call this town yours

We leave in two weeks. Christ on a cracker. Life is chaos right now. Moving into our so-called Halfway House was hard, not only because it was exhausting and because it was infuriating to know how soon we’d be moving again, but also because of how much I loved our old apartment. Because of travel delays, we didn’t even get to spend our first night back in the States in our familiar home. It was a little heartbreaking to have to sleep in a strange place after so many nights of being away, made worse by knowing that we wouldn’t be in the Halfway House long enough to ever feel at home here, not to mention that the HH is a bit of a downgrade from our last home.

And what sucks is that whatever apartment we move into in California is going to be just another pit stop on the way to Putting Down Roots. And oh, how I want to put down roots. I’ve been house-crazy for a long time and it just gets worse every day. I’m thrilled not to be boy-crazy anymore, as I’m now a considerably less annoying version of myself, but now it’s houses. And then it’ll be a puppy. And then babies. Boy, house, puppy, baby. This is what I consider a natural progression.

The house lust is not helped by the fact that we currently live in a really awesome neighborhood, just around the corner from gorgeous old houses with wraparound porches and beautiful ancient trees curved overhead. There are so many adorable places to covet. And there’s this sweet, tiny, old-fashioned bakery down the street, tucked among the houses. I love walking down there and taking away tarts and cookies in tiny pink boxes.

So there are some nice things about this current place. But it’s so temporary. I just want to feel at home somewhere.

We’re flying out to San Diego on Wednesday to check things out and as soon as we get back we’re driving to the Husband’s hometown for the reception his parents are hosting (2 wedding ceremonies and 3 receptions. We really know how to celebrate this marriage.) Two days after we get back from that, we'll have a trailer dropped off to fill. The day after we have it picked up, we have two days of a friend’s wedding festivities and the day after that, we leave.

Being in limbo sucks. I’m such a jumble of emotions – excited to be going somewhere new, anxious about not having a job and the million things we have to get done, and sad about leaving behind some really fantastic friends.

Yesterday we had our civil ceremony and made things legal, not that we really care about some silly paperwork. June 18 is when we considered ourselves married. We had our ceremony in the park and then grilled and ate and drank and played bocce with friends on a perfect summer evening and it was really lovely.

Saying goodbye to a life built over the past six years is going to be tough.

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