A year ago tonight I went on an adventure, doing something pretty far out of my comfort zone. It wasn’t love at first sight and the heavens didn’t open up. But it changed everything.
We met for coffee and both got hot chocolate. His eyes crinkled when he smiled, something I found attractive then and love now. I was so completely at ease with him from the very first moment, the un-shy version of me stepping in for the evening.
I drove home suffused with equal parts giddiness and relief. I had no way of knowing what that night would lead to or that it would lead to anything at all, but I knew that whatever happened, I was going to be just fine.
Opening myself up to love was hard and at first the ride was just as bumpy as it was exhilarating. I didn’t know if I was ready to do the whole damn thing over again. But I found that I wasn’t doing the same thing over again, I was doing something completely new. Something better, stronger, and more genuine.
The things that mean the most are the hardest to write about. There are only so many ways I can say how much the Boy means to me. How perfectly he fits into my life, even down to how much my friends (and my cat!) love him. How he still looks at me like I’m something new and amazing. How the way he smiles at me when I’m doing something he finds endearing still makes me a little weak in the knees.
How I found real love, adult love, that’s easy and healthy and happy. No struggles, no over the top drama, no fighting, just puzzle pieces falling into place. I didn’t know love could be like that.
It won’t always be this easy, but I’m not worried. The past year has built something strong, stable and amazing and when crap happens I know we’ll be able to talk about it and handle it together.
Tonight after dinner we’ll go back to the scene of the crime and I’ll hold his hand and look at him and think about how the past year has led me home.
Happy Pi Day.
i didn't know just what was wrong with me
'til your kiss helped me name it
-carole king
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