the water got high and she never got dry

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

weddings are whack

I wonder if there’s any research that shows an association between wedding planning and loss of brain cells. Because I’m at a loss for anything interesting to say. Because me trying to figure out what the hell to wear for engagement pix we’re getting taken next week or whether or not to buy a dress before the David’s Bridal sale ends or when we’re going to nail down specific locations in St. Thomas or should I be scared by Miss A’s piece of wisdom that when it comes to wedding expenses, numbers start to lose all meaning or wow that Milena on Bridezillas is a bitch from hell or sheesh, composing our first email to potential wedding guests is exhausting…these are not interesting things. Sigh.

On a tangent, I think the term bridezilla is quite annoying. On the one hand, it demonizes perfectly nice women who understandably might get a little frazzled and on the other, some women will use it as license to be as self-absorbed and diva-like as they want. I think someone on Bridezillas (which I watched for the first time the other night) actually uttered the words “I’m the bride, therefore I should get whatever I want.” Sweet holy Moses on buttered toast, get over yourself. As if the mere act of a woman getting married gives her free reign to demand things. Is this a woman’s reward for snagging a man? Disturbing on so many levels.

I know that there are some (mythical?) women who are totally laidback about their wedding and don’t obsess over the truly unimportant things like color of the tablerunners or what kind of ribbon to wrap around favors, but I have yet to meet them. The thing is, even if you are laidback at first and don’t care about the trivial details, you’re required to make decisions about place settings and centerpieces and bouquet wraps and oh should we have sea glass or petals strewn down the aisle and the act of having to make these decisions and pay money for them accordingly causes you to care. Probably a bit too much.

And I think a lot of men get a bum rap for not helping out enough or being interested enough. But it’s not that they don’t care, it’s just that they generally don’t care about the minutiae. All many man care about is that they will be there, their future wife will be there and at the end of the day they’ll be married. That’s all they need to know to be happy. Whereas many women, while they care most about that as well, have had it ingrained in them from birth that this day has to be not just beautiful and special, which it would be anyway, but pure perfection of fairy-tale proportions. That kind of pressure is the wedding industry’s bread and butter.

No one is immune. As much as I might shake my fist at this insidious affliction, I’m simply as vulnerable as the next bride-to-be. Asshattery.

On an up note, did you KNOW there are blogs all about cupcakes? Hawesome.

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