time to move on, time to get going

what lies ahead I have no way of knowing

It's our last day here and I wish we could just take it easy but there are still lots of little things to take care of and then tonight we can let our hair down and relax with all our friends, as one of my dear friends is getting married.

Some quick, scattered last thoughts:

It's funny because when "Time to Move On" was chosen as my class song senior year of high school, I didn't much care for it (my vote was for "End of the World as We Know It"). But now it's the theme song playing in my head and it'll be on my playlist as we're driving away. There'll also be some Calexico when we hit the dustier parts of our trip and perhaps the entire Old 97s catalog. Lots of songs about California (I always knew there were a lot, but didn't realize how many until I saw this on Wikipedia.) Also, "Some New Town" by Slobberbone, one of my favorite songs, and this Dar Williams song that should tell you which fair state it is I'm leaving.

Scouting trip was good and we found a place to live, albeit not where we thought it would be. We did a few touristy things while we were there (Gaslamp District, Seaport Village) but mostly frantically hunted apartments.

Very cool: Sonic locator that lets me find Sonics on the way to Cali.
Very uncool: For more than five years I was without a local Sonic and then a matter of months ago they build one 20 minutes away, which is a bittersweet pleasure, because really, they couldn't have had one sooner? And now, literally, just as we're leaving, they're building a motherf*cking Sonic right here. Bastards.

We had a nice reception in the Husband's hometown and enjoyed spending some time with his parents, who I know are sad to see us go but also excited for us and they have been endlessly supportive and helpful. I will miss having them nearby.

Then some non-stop packing and on Thursday, due a to a snag in our plan of having a trailer dropped off in front of our place (stupid local police and their stupid rules), we had to load all our stuff into a Uhaul and drive 30 miles out and then load up the moving trailer that will be driven to California. A tiring day, but made a lot easier with the help of parents and friends. I have friends who have helped me move just about every single year for 6 years and for that
they deserve medals.

I'm tired, excited, and sad in different measures. We're ready to move on and I know it's very much time, but I have always had such a hard time cutting ties and leaving people behind. And it's not like leaving my hometown and knowing I'd see people every Christmas when I come back. Everyone else here will scatter as they move on and there's no reason for any of us to come back here.

In the midst of packing I found some old emails I'd printed out, emails I'd written my first few weeks here to friends telling them about how I was adjusting to the new city. I can't believe how quickly six years have flown by.

Last week after lunch with the officemates, we bumped into a grad student I hadn't seen in a long time. She was the very first person I met here since she picked me up at the airport when I came to visit, so it seemed to come full circle to see her again before leaving.

Although I joke that it's made me soft living here, there's a lot to be said for the safe, sheltered environment of a small Midwestern city. For all my misgivings about moving here and all the jokes I've had to hear, there are far worse places to live. Little traffic, little crime, friendly people, and a nice sense of community. I will miss those things, just as I will miss the really wonderful people who helped me survive grad school and made life here worth living.

you're such a wonder that i think i'll stay in bed

Back from San Diego. Have a place to live. Need to keep packing. Very, very tired.

basement blogging

I was feeling sad this morning about leaving.

But you know what I won't miss?

Tornado warnings.

enough for you to break down and call this town yours

We leave in two weeks. Christ on a cracker. Life is chaos right now. Moving into our so-called Halfway House was hard, not only because it was exhausting and because it was infuriating to know how soon we’d be moving again, but also because of how much I loved our old apartment. Because of travel delays, we didn’t even get to spend our first night back in the States in our familiar home. It was a little heartbreaking to have to sleep in a strange place after so many nights of being away, made worse by knowing that we wouldn’t be in the Halfway House long enough to ever feel at home here, not to mention that the HH is a bit of a downgrade from our last home.

And what sucks is that whatever apartment we move into in California is going to be just another pit stop on the way to Putting Down Roots. And oh, how I want to put down roots. I’ve been house-crazy for a long time and it just gets worse every day. I’m thrilled not to be boy-crazy anymore, as I’m now a considerably less annoying version of myself, but now it’s houses. And then it’ll be a puppy. And then babies. Boy, house, puppy, baby. This is what I consider a natural progression.

The house lust is not helped by the fact that we currently live in a really awesome neighborhood, just around the corner from gorgeous old houses with wraparound porches and beautiful ancient trees curved overhead. There are so many adorable places to covet. And there’s this sweet, tiny, old-fashioned bakery down the street, tucked among the houses. I love walking down there and taking away tarts and cookies in tiny pink boxes.

So there are some nice things about this current place. But it’s so temporary. I just want to feel at home somewhere.

We’re flying out to San Diego on Wednesday to check things out and as soon as we get back we’re driving to the Husband’s hometown for the reception his parents are hosting (2 wedding ceremonies and 3 receptions. We really know how to celebrate this marriage.) Two days after we get back from that, we'll have a trailer dropped off to fill. The day after we have it picked up, we have two days of a friend’s wedding festivities and the day after that, we leave.

Being in limbo sucks. I’m such a jumble of emotions – excited to be going somewhere new, anxious about not having a job and the million things we have to get done, and sad about leaving behind some really fantastic friends.

Yesterday we had our civil ceremony and made things legal, not that we really care about some silly paperwork. June 18 is when we considered ourselves married. We had our ceremony in the park and then grilled and ate and drank and played bocce with friends on a perfect summer evening and it was really lovely.

Saying goodbye to a life built over the past six years is going to be tough.

got no trouble today

Where to start? St. Thomas was incredibly gorgeous. The steep hills (and narrow roads) made for some nerve-wracking driving but also amazing cliff side views. We decided to stay at this B&B instead of a big resort and that was completely the right decision. It was such a charming and peaceful place, with yummy breakfasts and we had the sweetest little room and we got so much help from our hostess. Four of our friends were staying next door, which was great. We flew in a few days before the wedding and we took care of wedding related business but also hung out with guests and ended the night before the wedding with our feet in the pool next door, drinking rum and smoking cigars, with stars twinkling o’erhead.

The Husband had a little too much to drink and felt a little urpy the next morning. And we discovered that he had forgotten to bring the shirt for his suit. But he eventually stopped feeling sick and we walked downtown to a Tommy Hilfiger outlet (thank you, rampant commercialism) and got him a replacement shirt. And after that, everything truly went without a single hitch. They always say something or things will go wrong on your wedding day and you just have to roll with it, but after a tiny hiccup, things were perfect.

It was tremendously hot on the beach but I was happy to have sunshine and blue skies and a minimal amount of people around. And some people have said their ceremonies went by in a blur and they hardly remember anything about it but it was so easy to be in the moment and my memories – of the sun on my face, the sand and petals beneath my feet, and the sound of the Husband’s voice – are very vivid. Our wonderful officiant and dear friend Miss A did such a great job with the ceremony. She worked with us painstakingly to perfect and personalize the ceremony. It was romantic and emotional and periodically broken up with laughter, which is how it should be.

The photographer, videographer, officiant, and hair/makeup stylist were all friends, meaning we had an absolute minimum of strangers involved in our day, which was wonderful.

The reception villa was beautiful beyond our dreams. We had our cocktail hour by the pool, which had a breathtaking view of the harbor and the villa is surrounded by lush gardens, complete with singing frogs and hermit crabs creeping across the sidewalk. The food was delicious, the guests enjoyed themselves, and it was an evening of perfect happiness.

Pictures are up here. The pictures turned out wonderfully, as we knew they would when we asked our friend Sam to be our photog - warm and natural and perfectly capturing the spirit of the day.

held up like a loofah by the foreman of the night

An oldie but a goodie. I was inspired to watch this again because the Husband and I had the classic "Those are not the lyrics" conversation just the other day.

let joy be unconfined

Many pictures and stories to come, and I am chugging away at putting pix up on Flickr. Life has simply been insanely busy since we got back. After a hellish day of travel, we had to move across town the instant we got back, which took two full days. And our current lease is up on the 29th so we've finally decided where in California we're going - San Diego. We're going to fly out there in a couple of weeks to check things out and find a place to live. It's all happening very quickly.

But first, another picture. This is us walking back up the aisle for a second time, since the first time not everyone was sufficiently prepared to toss petals. Being carried off by waves of laughter is certainly not a bad way to start a marriage.