the water got high and she never got dry

Monday, October 09, 2006

a dream deferred

Some rare mornings I start the day in a calm, Zen-like state. This was not one of those mornings. Running an hour late, mind buzzing with the million things I needed to get done, this morning made me wonder how the hell I’ll possibly be able to handle having kids.

Yesterday we drove to Husband to Be’s hometown for the day. Played bocce and had a nice lunch with his parents and then went to a birthday party for two of HTB’s friends’ kids. His friends have a lovely home and it was filled with very cute, very well-behaved kids. Is it bad to be surprised when kids are well-behaved? Their newest baby may have caused someone’s clock to tick a little louder than normal. HTB’s friends joked that “this’ll be you in a couple of years”. Eep. More than a couple.

For now, it’s really nice to drive home to just an apartment and a cat. To be able to go on trips and to concerts without having to worry about babysitters or even to go out at all, and to make our late night gelato runs. (Pistachio gelato is the best thing ever.) I told HTB we should really enjoy the remaining years where we don’t have to be selfless.

Some nights when we get home after hitting the grocery store or farmer’s market and/or gym and after fixing dinner and watching a tiny bit of TV, we’re absolutely pooped. Add in a little bit of time for wedding-related nonsense or going out for drinks with friends and the entire evening is eaten up. If we’re this tired and busy now, how can we handle the exponential increase in chaos that comes with kids, the likes of which we can only imagine, based on the horror stories of parent friends.

The prof I TA for has two kids and came to a meeting exhausted from too little sleep and talked about how you just make time wherever you can find it, which can mean running to the grocery store at 10 PM and then getting up at 5 the next morning to put away laundry. I am not a morning person but I guess I’ll probably become one, right?

Our cat’s a bit of a meowy pants and cleaning her litter box is not one of my favorite things, but that’s not even on the same scale as changing diapers and endless crying. No yard to mow or a mortgage to pay. I want to revel in all these things as much as I can, because while I really, really do want the house, the kids, the whole nine yards someday, there’s no going back. For now I am happy to have only the pitter patter of cat paws running around the house.

Oh and on the way home HTB surprised me by taking us a little out of our way and surprising me with a Sonic, a fine establishment sorely and unfathomably lacking in our city! We got tater tots and my beloved lemonberry slush. Best. Boy. Ever.

Save the dates have been sent out. Woot!

V Mars was okay, after a strong opening, Lost was weak, and BSG kicked so much ass! That’s how a season premiere is done. Damn.

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